My Beansie Baby

I’m not even sure how to start writing about Beans. I know I’m not ready, but I miss her dearly. She was my little buddy. Our sidekick for life. I knew that I would never be ready for this day, but I wasn’t prepared for the pain. Besides sorrow and loss, Tyler and I have gone through so many different emotional thoughts of denial, guilt, anger and of course depression.

When I came home this evening, I was missing those little blue eyes and thought that it would help to remember all of our good times together… she was the most amazing loyal best friend that anyone could ever have and l couldn’t stop thinking about her.

She knew when I had a bad day. She knew when I was baking cupcakes. She knew when to protect me. She knew how to make me smile. She knew how she could steal chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting off the chair in a split second. She knew how to unconditionally love us. She brought Tyler and I together as a family and will forever be in our hearts and memories.

Beans passed away suddenly on Thursday morning from Bloat while we were vacationing in the Outer Banks. Apparently, Bloat which I had never heard of until now… is the 2nd leading cause of death in dogs behind cancer… deep-chested breeds, Great Danes/Boxers, and older dogs are at risk.
Beans has always had issues with digestion, gas, bloated tummies, etc, and for years we’ve spend more money on the dogs’ food than ours. We refused to feed her handouts and always made sure she wasn’t gorging herself on Poor Little Rosco’s food.
Thursday morning was absolutely awful. Our world stopped and our hearts burned. We weren’t ready to say good-bye. We needed her. Rosco needed her.
I needed her.

I’m not able to write about those morning details just yet… as we and the vet did everything in our power to save her, but wanted to remember the good times this evening.
I miss her soft ears… sweet face… smooth chest… her comfort and presence… and will remain in denial for a while that she’s not here.

Thank you to our family and friends that have been there for us the past few days. We have really needed you to lean on for additional support and extra love. Beans was a huge part of our lives and she will be forever missed.

Goodnight my little Beansie Baby, see you in our dreams… We love you.
xoxo
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